excited to come back to ny.

love her.

you will never see me eat a raw apple. my throat and lips swell.but i cut an apple up today, sprinkled some cinnamon on it, and put it in the toaster oven at 200 degree for 20 min. and i was able to eat and enjoy it.

 

When i first started this blog i was 18 and wanted everything to happen to me. Now i look in the mirror and I've changed.

I had this dream again where I'm my sister meeting me in the future. We haven't seen each other in a long time and we're driving around in a red car with the top down I think maybe its California. I'm visiting, and feel so distant. She seems pretty still, calm, moneyed but colder. We agree that we wish we'd been closer over the years and she laughs a little hollowly, commenting maybe if things had worked out in Austin. She doesnt look at me really. I see she has this whole life now that ill never know or be a part of. Drops me off after we maybe have lunch and I know I'll never see her again. There's just this general feeling of sadness and missed friendship.

it's tough when what you love isn't yours.