Listening to the postal service, and me always saying im fine reminds me of that lyric "your perfect verse is just a lie you tell yourself to help you get by"

I went and saw this broadway play tonight called "The Normal Heart" that was just incredible... made me cry uncontrollably, and also dealt with some issues that I think are pertinent today. Even though it was written in the 80's, it deals with AIDS, and gay marriage, and the issues of casual sex among the young people of New York City... the fact that gay marriage was just legalized Friday night, and there's been gay pride parades all weekend, made it connect even more with me. At one point the boyfriend says "I don't think a man isn't meant to love. I think men learn not to love.
Monday 7:54 EDIT: I just wanted to add also that some people will argue that gay men are more promiscuous and have more sex- in a culture that wouldnt support their quest for the institute of marriage, what kind of relationships were they supposed to have?

I had the strongest compulsion to just go out and be crazy last night.

Baby I've had the same dream, where I wake up
wondering what it really means, if the world came running down.
If it was you and me against the world.

So I'm pretty excited about this new short film that I shot with director Loui Terrier and some other talented people a little while ago.. It's just been put on IMDB http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1967524/ and is about to start the Festival circuit. It just got its first acceptance into the Finger Lakes Film Festival, and has this Kickstarter page that raised a grand so far (for promotion and other project related funding), in 2 days! http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1147632586/indecent-exposure-a-short-film-2011
So I just wanted to let you guys know about this new project and also suggest if you're in a good mood, liking the facebook page http://www.facebook.com/pages/Indecent-Exposure-A-Short-Film-2011/156257221109151 and checking out the profile on Kickstarter.

I also have another short "I'm so Tall" that just played at Monaco Film Festival and is about to show at Park City Film Music Festival http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1941554/

Also this really good play is running for not that much longer, and it's really good: http://dowoplove.tumblr.com/

Last night opened up this book, 24 Italian Songs and Arias... When I was younger the first thing I wanted to be was an opera singer and I'd sing all day every day, its why I started acting, its why I learned piano... Even though I ended up up going to art school, I dont regret the time I spent, I just havent sang in so long, and when we opened this book, I still remembered the italian, the songs.... it was such a good feeling, refinding those songs with a friend... gonna try and record it sometime soon.
Also, I really like this song...
I have been meaning to write in here about this- that a person I cared about is with someone. I'm just happy for them. But Adele puts it really well. Sometimes it lasts in love, and sometimes it hurts instead.
Lots of people from the past are in town lately.

work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen -conan

Admit it!
Despite your pseudo-bohemian appearance
And vaguely leftist doctrine of beliefs
You know nothing about art or sex
That you couldn’t read in any trendy New York underground fashion magazine
Prototypical non-conformist
You are a vacuous soldier of the thrift store Gestapo
You adhere to a set of standards and tastes
That appear to be determined by an unseen panel of hipster judges (bullshit)
Giving a thumbs up or thumbs down to incoming and outgoing trends and styles of music and art
Go analog baby, you’re so post-modern

Weigermeister smoothies with katy and some ther people at jenny's apartment tonight... remembering good stuff... i wish every day were like refinding old friends; really nice.

23rd Birthday Weekend

Went a little like this...

Friday June 10- work ended early (below is the card, and presents katy and toni got me)
Hung out at Shirley's office for a while then went to a 20 dollar mani pedi place where the women said they liked my short haircut in chinese, which made me feel better as I've been unsure about it lately. Shirley's nail color was very nice, and we talked about how connected what we dream about is with real life. Rushed over in a cab to my Birthday dinner, at French Roast, where a few friends and I had a nice supper and some Spanish wine and fruit and cheese plates.
Chatted into the night, and my high school friends Toni and Katy slept over.

Saturday, the day after my official birthday, but still the weekend of- we woke up late.
and brunched at The Adore, in the sunny small upstairs section, where I had some delicious strawberry waffles with whipped cream and they got french toast. Katy and Toni got on the train, I met my friend Avi and we met some others to go to the Belmont Stakes
which I used to glorify as a little girl when reading books like Ruffian. I got to see and pet some beautiful horses but didnt bet anything. I had a nice time despite the rain, then I came home and passed out.

Sunday I got up around noon and some friends and I went to the Big Apple BBQ thing at Madison Square Park. I went last year and did the same thing, it was fun, but not surprising. Also it was my mom's birthday.
All in all I had a pretty nice birthday weekend, and am in a pleasant mood lately. I feel really greatful to have people I care about, who care about me, and a job I like doing. It's a lucky thing and I feel I've taken that for granted sometimes.

I'm Good!

So much to say and dont know how to say it.
I'm sorry if I've worried those I care about.
It's been a year, rest assured my postgrad postseriousrelationship blues are done.
Going to trust that I'm valuable that I'm lucky, I have a good artsy job, good auditions, good friends and family... anything else (like the right guy or that big role) I'm fine with our without it.

It's like I just tripped while walking, over nothing.. s'all good

The first post I ever did on my blog, 4 years and 6 months ago...

Because after all, all one can do in life is _ _ _.



One thing I did learn is you don’t hold on to the bitterness of the loss; you hang on to the beauty of the love. Remember all the good things. There was a reason you met someone and a reason why you were together. -eva longoria in instyle

Today when I walked into work the cleaning woman actually said I need to be happier. She said I walk by and don't say hi anymore.
I realized being depressed is disrespectful to all the great things (and people) I do have in my life. I have the best friends and family.. a good job, a nice cat... anything else should just be gravy.

I think Ive discovered the secret to happiness: tanning.

ooh la, she was such a good girl to me



Brunch with Katy then the last day of the Allen Ginsberg festival in Thompkins sq park.

I'm watching Ally McBeal episode 13 season 3, called "the pursuit of loneliness" right now. I feel like I search to isolate myself and am the biggest thing keeping me from being happy.
I think Booty is sad and confused when I come home lately, she doesnt understand why Im abrupt and not as nice to her and has become more vocal in her annoyance with me.