Who knows if things have a good chance of working out. If a person has a higher chance of leaving, or hurting you, doesn't that just make it more beautiful when they don't? And at this point, if you're already attached, then there's not much of a choice but to embrace it.

made a visual mixtape

Was in philly this weekend planned a trip to celebrate Jenny's birthday and it was really fun. Pics soon
Worked today had halal food and leftover ice cream from last night for lunch. Had dinner at Wendy's tonight after work and came home just now. Saw straight nick walking out of the building with some fashiony dressed blonde girl. My super joe did say he would see him with lots of girls. I want to buy more protective clothing. Smartwool maybe, its so cold lately

if I keep helping people who've hurt me, maybe I can figure out how to fix myself.

so this is kind of cute, tommy strauss was part of the new keanu reeves documentary "side by side", and got to use some footage from "little christine". i havent seen the whole thing yet so i dont know how much is being used, but we're in the trailer 00:32
http://www.facebook.com/sidebysidethemovie
http://sidebysidethemovie.com/

A possible explanation for why women seem to want more cuddling than men is that females tend to get more physical contact from their friends and parents during their upbringing than males do; men may simply not know the pleasure that they’re missing. Also, high oxytocin levels are so pleasing, that they are addictive. Woman may just want more of this ‘drug’ that they have become so accustomed to at younger ages. And, yes, just like with any other drug, there are withdrawal symptoms, depression, for example, when suddenly deprived of it (Crenshaw).

sometimes I wonder if you realize how much you love me.

I just had the scariest nightmare of the me in the painting strangling me woke up this morning really stressed about a blue ghosty pale Andrea lol. I think I'm resentful at being made vulnerable. Scared the person I made it for doesn't really understand or appreciate, scared of the version of me that's normally hidden. I hate being vulnerable, someone once said its like taking off your armor on a battlefield and walking up to your opponent with closed eyes and open hands... Or something. I thought about not giving it away, but it's worse to keep it to myself. and I don't want to look at it right now or think about keepin it in my apartment. I love it though. But it's too Dorian gray for me, in the regurgitation of what's inside, the very act of examining yourself can freak you out.

Finished