Don’t wait for them to give you a sign cause it might never come, don’t let people happen to you, don’t let me happen to you, or her, she’s not a fucking television show or tornado. There are people I might have loved had they gotten on the airplane or run down the street after me or called me up drunk at four in the morning because they need to tell me right now and because they cannot regret this and I always thought I’d be the only one doing crazy things for people who would never give enough of a fuck to do it back or to act like idiots or be entirely vulnerable and honest and making someone fall in love with you is easy and flying 3000 miles on four days notice because you can’t just sit there and do nothing and breathe into telephones is not everyone’s idea of love but it is the way I can recognize it because that is what I do. Go scream it and be with her in meaningful ways because that is beautiful and that is generous and that is what loving someone is, that is raw and that is unguarded, and that is all that is worth anything, really.
-harvey milk

walt whitman
gary shteyngart
ernest hemingway

i've been feeling good. working a lot. spending time with friends.

one reason I like keeping a blog is remembering that last last winter, I wrote this in here:

'commit to living and being weird and passionate or you might as well die.'

and i'm reassured that i haven't changed much.

Things I Drew | Things I Ate Recently

I was talking to my dad tonight about how I've been too impulsive sometimes (Shirley said that a few days ago too.) But I don't think I would've done so many great things if I hadn't been also open to making a bunch of mistakes. I believe in the kindness of strangers but have had people I was real close too hurt me. 

My dad says no one is perfect, some people are just better at hiding it. I really liked that. 

THE DEATH OF LEOPOLD GURSKY
Leopold Gursky started dying on August 18, 1920.
He died learning to walk.
He died standing at the blackboard.
And once, also, carrying a heavy tray.
He died practicing a new way to sign his name.
Opening a window.
Washing his genitals in the bath.
He died alone, because he was too embarrassed to phone anyone.
Or he died thinking about Alma.
Or when he chose not to.
― Nicole Krauss, The History of Love

I see crowds of people every day around Penn Station near where I work. I saw them today in soho and tonight in Central Park.

Its really nice that most of the people who were truly good to me are still around. In a world full of nameless people who dont matter, some do.

had the craziest dream last night

I had a dog or was in charge of my friends dog and its this derpy cute small thing, I put it on a leash and we're walking over a bridge and things are good. There's a bunch of other dogs and owners too when this one black little ratty dog really close to the left starts biting at my dogs leg and won't stop he's really like a rat on a leash and no matter what he won't stop and I say something to the owner like 'get control of your dog' and frustrated I look up and he's this guy in all black with sunglasses that genuinely creeps me out and reminds me of his dog and very calmly says 'they're just going to do what they want'.