note to self: read more

I've been reading a lot lately. I'd forgotten how therapeutic it is, and how happy it makes me.
My new favorite book is "True Love" by Ivan Turgenev, it's such a beautiful little book, and I love stories about when this character first discovers love, and I think it makes me feel empowered when I read about women who don't love the main character back but flirt around. The first character like that who I really liked was Estella Havisham, when she's told to "break his heart" by one of the most frightening characters in literature, at least to me, her guardian Ms. Havisham. But this character in "True Love" was made so much more well-rounded because she does end up falling in love, just not with the right person. At one point, she says this "I am a flirt: I have no heart: I have an actor's nature."
"Give me your hand and I will stick a pin into it, and you will feel ashamed in front of this young man. And it will hurt you, and still you will be kind enough to laugh"
And still, of course, the man loves her forever. Even after he's old and she's dead (oops, spoiler).

Also I've been rereading "Ways of Seeing" by John Berger. This book is also on my top ten list now!