merry chen christmas 2011

http://s758.photobucket.com/albums/xx224/chenfamily1/

"Cheerful company does me good till some bitter truth blazes through my brain, and then the present of a bullet would be received with thanks." -branwell bronte

“Ideologies separate us. Dreams and anguish bring us together.” Eugene Ionesco

"Dirt Road Anthem" Cover

history of sadness from the film "beginners"



dougie fresh accepting an award at nbt's teer spirit awards yesterday

"you know when you meet someone and they just have this soul and it understands you? thats how we were"
(she leans over to me and whispers smiling)
"that's you, to me"

http://www.newyorker.com/online/podcasts/fiction/ these arent bad to listen too tonight.
http://altscreen.com/ want to take myself to one of these movies
http://store.americanapparel.net/ want to send $100 here on fall/winter clothes because it all fits so well and i'm cold and lazy and want to only go to one store.
half filling out applications to summer art residencies to paint or take photos and get away from the city and being single and acting and designing.
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Work week over, want sleep more lately. I feel like a kid at a sleepover who just wants to go home. I want to rest, and be around people who love unconditionally. who look and smell like me. and I dont have to try and be pretty or interesting around. who dont substitute other people for me.
Also i learned how to use google calender tonight. and 'how i met your mother' is a really funny show, and on netflix instant watch. the new korean building looks definitely like the twin towers being attacked, 'cloud' my ass.

I had the craziest dream last night that I was super broke and only had 0.554 cents in my account and was trying to figure out where I could eat for fifty cens.
Then it went into a recurring dream I've been having where we (my family) all live in a big beautiful house I just bought and we're having so much fun getting settled. We finally put a tv in the livin room but it's really thin like a frame flat panel. There's a part of the ceiling that juts down so it's put there, in the ceiling and you (my dad) spend all your time lying down staring up at it and I'm constantly trying to tell you we should move it because it's too close to the floor/ your eyes and also it could fall on you.

i took this a little while ago on the Diana. totally how the city feels sometimes staring through a grate

nothing between us but air

'i ask, why are you putting that pillow between us, he said oh i like how it feels on me like a blanket, and i said you have a real girl here, and he moves it and says ok, there, nothing between us. It's weird to hear you say that. out of context. nothing between us.'