Insomnia continues to haunt me. I'm kept up at night, wondering what else life is than just wanting to be remembered, and affecting people. Why is it that its hard for some people to understand my way of thinking. How will I ever get what I want in life. I have wild fantasies when it's late and I don't censor my thoughts, of old wood and large houses, of seeing the world. Is there more to be had from others than just pleasure? Why are pleasure and happiness never the same thing. I'm constantly trying to control myself, and wonder what it would be like to not keep myself in check.

Put your heart in my hands and I won’t hurt you
Put your heart in my hands, I promise not too
(build you up, by nelly furtado)

inspirations:

:(:)

Wingbowl photos..

The event was so much fun, loved Kobayashi and his pretty publicist Maggie, and met Ron Jeremy, and saw lots of chicken wings get eaten. I'm glad to be back in NY, at home with the cat.

Kobayashi, Ron Jeremy Join 'Good Day': MyFoxPHILLY.com

Wingbowl 19

I'll be hanging with Kobayashi tomorrow 5-9 AM at Wingbowl, on CBS.
Getting on a bus to Philly with Adrienne in a bit, be back friday night. It'll be a welcome break from the city for a little bit.

Happy Chinese new year

I really liked my mood last week. Was so productive. This week's been a downer. That's okay. One bad thing about being productive is I usually battle insomnia in the same state. So although less happy tonight, I think I'll be able to sleep. Gnight

ok i'm done being dumb. and i miss you.

Pertinent

Loving the new DSR tees, gave some away today. Putting effort out into the world, hopefully brings it back to me. Had a nice meeting, worked on design stuff all week and have been auditioning too. Can't wait to sleep in and finally relax some this weekend. My agent says she likes that I'm dressing more professionally (aka better) again. Finally learning that I had love once and don't need it now. I'm sublimating. (channeling personal life into creative outlets. freud)