Open letter to a friend:

Hi. I always try and make it up when I feel like I'm a bad friend, I'm not good at keeping in touch or remembering birthdays, but I've always cared about you. However, I realize lately that maybe it's not me that needs to feel like correcting myself. I've always been sincere and, while stumbling, tried to be there. If the friendship doesnt stay, I'm done thinking there's anything I could've done to make it better.

I know some people dont like Drake because they feel he stands for over-auto-tuned music and lyrics with mostly double-entendres.. but I like some of the stuff he says, because there's a lot of things that I hear sometimes and catch. like in some song he writes "nothing on but the radio" (from a country song I really like) In another song he says "I can meet you in the lobby, girl I gotta watch my back, because I'm not just anybody" (referencing aaliyah's "are you that somebody"). nice. dirty south

watching many episodes of ally mcbeal in one sitting probably isnt healthy

"The real truth is I probably don't want to be too happy or content, because then what? I actually like the quest, the search. That's the fun. The more lost you are, the more you have to look forward too. What do you know, I'm having a great time, and I don't even know it"
-last lines of the Ally McBeal Pilot episode.

It's Raining.

I think once my heart likes someone, it doesnt really change.
Whether they want to stay in my life is always up to them, sometimes we go through things that take us farther away or closer. I get quiet and still now and then, but would never cut someone I cared about, out. There's two types of quietness, being forgotten, or a loaded silence where you just wonder when the next time is that you'll be brought together again.

Filed my taxes for the first time this week!! with my dad's help.

And I have my rent renewal form ready to mail out, but am wondering if I should. I've lived in the same studio for years now, but ever since a homeless guy broke into the building, I've been wondering if I'd be safer living with someone else in a bigger place.

art i did this week

(the last one I didnt do, I just saw, walking around soho at night with katy, and thought it was beautiful. reminds me of the last painting a little. drowning girls, you know)

One of my short films "The Bridge" just showed at the Sonoma Film Festival, and won the Audience award!
http://thebridge.filmbinder.com/
And is showing this weekend at the Tallahassee Film Festival.
http://www.tallahasseefilmfestival.com/films_2011/index.php?type=film&id=34

booty loves me

I notice in new york, people are so fluid, floating in and out of each others lives pretty easily. The people I seem to value the most, are ones I met before coming here. (Although of course there are people here I also value.)
Even though the events that occur in this city have been more impactful, the people grew less, in comparison. Which I never thought would happen. But I've learned that people talk about their relationships in time or status rather than by name (oh I was with so and so for seven years, didnt work out. name, oh you wouldnt know them).. Same goes for work relationships, friends and who they know.. When did events (which always fluctuate in life) become more valuable than the individual?

Its a contradiction trying to stay innocent as doves, but know as much as snakes.

Finally watched this movie "Before Sunrise" and really liked it.

it's friday! this past week summed up:

I used to say in high school, that instead of dating, I would learn to be like an amoeba when I grew up, and just regenerate. Life doesn't work out necessarily, guess we'll just have to wait and see.
My little brother told me "The Lavender Menace" was betty friedan's name for lesbians in the feminist movement










"I've been around for a little over 20 years
And to anyone who needs advice on getting here
Don't ask me, the path i took was not exactly by the book, by the book
I was too young to know and too dumb to figure out
That you can lose yourself in all this traveling around
When you reach a point of no return losing touch with lessons learned

Let's go to the middle where time stands still
Let's get lost in those hills
Live a little closer to what is true
I'll be me and you be you

I'm finding out the ways of this world
Can be overcome with one boy's love for just one girl
And the only way to love yourself is to give your love to someone else, someone else
Don't believe in everything you hear
Growing up is more than just living through the years

I'm disappointed in myself
I left you on a shelf that i could never reach
I practiced what you'd always preached against
But now i'm back in my defense
That black and white world we tried to paint is really gray

So it took a little time to get this right
The guilty and the innocent are always side by side"