23rd Birthday Weekend

Went a little like this...

Friday June 10- work ended early (below is the card, and presents katy and toni got me)
Hung out at Shirley's office for a while then went to a 20 dollar mani pedi place where the women said they liked my short haircut in chinese, which made me feel better as I've been unsure about it lately. Shirley's nail color was very nice, and we talked about how connected what we dream about is with real life. Rushed over in a cab to my Birthday dinner, at French Roast, where a few friends and I had a nice supper and some Spanish wine and fruit and cheese plates.
Chatted into the night, and my high school friends Toni and Katy slept over.

Saturday, the day after my official birthday, but still the weekend of- we woke up late.
and brunched at The Adore, in the sunny small upstairs section, where I had some delicious strawberry waffles with whipped cream and they got french toast. Katy and Toni got on the train, I met my friend Avi and we met some others to go to the Belmont Stakes
which I used to glorify as a little girl when reading books like Ruffian. I got to see and pet some beautiful horses but didnt bet anything. I had a nice time despite the rain, then I came home and passed out.

Sunday I got up around noon and some friends and I went to the Big Apple BBQ thing at Madison Square Park. I went last year and did the same thing, it was fun, but not surprising. Also it was my mom's birthday.
All in all I had a pretty nice birthday weekend, and am in a pleasant mood lately. I feel really greatful to have people I care about, who care about me, and a job I like doing. It's a lucky thing and I feel I've taken that for granted sometimes.

I'm Good!

So much to say and dont know how to say it.
I'm sorry if I've worried those I care about.
It's been a year, rest assured my postgrad postseriousrelationship blues are done.
Going to trust that I'm valuable that I'm lucky, I have a good artsy job, good auditions, good friends and family... anything else (like the right guy or that big role) I'm fine with our without it.

It's like I just tripped while walking, over nothing.. s'all good

The first post I ever did on my blog, 4 years and 6 months ago...

Because after all, all one can do in life is _ _ _.



One thing I did learn is you don’t hold on to the bitterness of the loss; you hang on to the beauty of the love. Remember all the good things. There was a reason you met someone and a reason why you were together. -eva longoria in instyle

Today when I walked into work the cleaning woman actually said I need to be happier. She said I walk by and don't say hi anymore.
I realized being depressed is disrespectful to all the great things (and people) I do have in my life. I have the best friends and family.. a good job, a nice cat... anything else should just be gravy.

I think Ive discovered the secret to happiness: tanning.

ooh la, she was such a good girl to me



Brunch with Katy then the last day of the Allen Ginsberg festival in Thompkins sq park.

I'm watching Ally McBeal episode 13 season 3, called "the pursuit of loneliness" right now. I feel like I search to isolate myself and am the biggest thing keeping me from being happy.
I think Booty is sad and confused when I come home lately, she doesnt understand why Im abrupt and not as nice to her and has become more vocal in her annoyance with me.

I WISH I COULD JUST BE HAPPY

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
here is the root of the root
and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;
which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)