commit

I was talking to my coworker today about lunch choices, and he said "I can't commit". I replied "My friend said that about whether or not they should go out with a group of us friends the other night. I asked 'are you coming out' and she said 'I'd like too but I don't want to commit myself'. Isn't it funny how the word can apply to things like eating and hanging out?" I always thought it was so loaded.
When I saw my friend CJ after work at Starbucks, he mentioned hanging out this weekend and I used this word- again. He said "I have to say you're probably the most committment phobic person I know". And it wasn't just because I have filming on Saturday and dont know if I can hang. In the last year I've been juggling a lot of things.
And then I thought about all of this on my way home because I passed this sign in front of a church near me.
"I just want to leave a committed life behind" -MLK Jr.
Maybe this is a sign that I should change. In all things, I'd like to be more settled and intentional.

Ohhh, when I'm around you I'm predictable.
You're the only one, I would take a shot on
keep me hanging on, so contagiously

If my favorite literary characters estella havisham and dorian gray could only have a love child, I would want to be it.

drowning girl with red&blue heyr

I spent an hour on it total, and think I have to be done with this piece. Hopefully I'll take abetter photo of it at some point, but I just cant bring myself to change anything about it. Reminds me a little bit of my obsession lately with red&blue and 3d glasses and seeing the world more clearly and dorian gray and stuff

pastel crayons, acrylic, and oil paint

Painting

I bought all these big canvases today and am trying to think of what to paint. Started one.
I've been feeling so busy all week, and it's nice to unwind on a beautiful day and just do something creative. Shirley was saying that I'm just not used to working every day 9-6 and my body will adjust to it soon, and maybe I'll surprise myself and be able to handle even more in future :) Doug mentioned too that people have like a biometric cycle or something where we get used to a routine and its important to always be stretching it.
I think I'm going to do this project with the biggest canvas where I keep working on it over the course of a year, and every month I'll take a photo of where it's at, and just keep going over it, painting out certain parts, layering and stuff. So at the end of the year, I'll have 12 paintings hidden under each other, but a record of 12 photos to show for it!
Also I'm still working on the "Dorian Self Reflecting" Tees, and making some little bags and dinges.
Also I'm really happy lately.

tonight

I Wanna Make Babies With You - Via Audio from Katie L. Thompson on Vimeo.

love this sweater. thats charcoal, guys.

"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing

and rightdoing there is a field.

I’ll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass

The world is too full to talk about."

by Rumi

the baddest bitch

Don’t you worry ’bout anything. It’s all gonna work out for us. We deserve it.
(One of the last lines in True Romance)