I'm Good!

So much to say and dont know how to say it.
I'm sorry if I've worried those I care about.
It's been a year, rest assured my postgrad postseriousrelationship blues are done.
Going to trust that I'm valuable that I'm lucky, I have a good artsy job, good auditions, good friends and family... anything else (like the right guy or that big role) I'm fine with our without it.

It's like I just tripped while walking, over nothing.. s'all good

The first post I ever did on my blog, 4 years and 6 months ago...

Because after all, all one can do in life is _ _ _.



One thing I did learn is you don’t hold on to the bitterness of the loss; you hang on to the beauty of the love. Remember all the good things. There was a reason you met someone and a reason why you were together. -eva longoria in instyle

Today when I walked into work the cleaning woman actually said I need to be happier. She said I walk by and don't say hi anymore.
I realized being depressed is disrespectful to all the great things (and people) I do have in my life. I have the best friends and family.. a good job, a nice cat... anything else should just be gravy.

I think Ive discovered the secret to happiness: tanning.

ooh la, she was such a good girl to me



Brunch with Katy then the last day of the Allen Ginsberg festival in Thompkins sq park.

I'm watching Ally McBeal episode 13 season 3, called "the pursuit of loneliness" right now. I feel like I search to isolate myself and am the biggest thing keeping me from being happy.
I think Booty is sad and confused when I come home lately, she doesnt understand why Im abrupt and not as nice to her and has become more vocal in her annoyance with me.

I WISH I COULD JUST BE HAPPY

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
here is the root of the root
and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;
which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

"When you feel scared, hold someone’s hand, look into their eyes. When you feel brave, do the same thing. You are here because you’re smart and brave, and if you add to that kindness and the ability to change a tire, you almost make up the perfect person."

-Amy Poehler to Harvard Grads during Class Day
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T7N_L_pu74k&feature=player_embedded

Like a child about to get a vaccination, and doesnt understand why it's happening, instead of getting angry (which hardens a person), or anxious (which makes one more fragile), to trust the parents and be still, is what I think might be the best course of action.
I got a lot of books today. Another copy of Dorian Gray, poems by Lord Byron, This Side of Paradise by F Scott Fitzgerakd, and Neitzche.