When I started this blog back in 2006 I had just come to New York City, had never had a boyfriend, a full fledged career, or knew what I wanted to do with my life specifically.
5 years later, I've supposedly learned all these things, and am feeling that despite all these years going by, I'm once again in that position I was in upon first arriving here. I want so much to be in love and have all my hard work pay off. I feel I know kind of what I want to do, but if I work so hard and havent gotten it, is it worth it?
I made a whole plan in my head this afternoon about how I could sell all my stuff, give my cat away, and sublet my place. I could take the money and run away to some little town in Maine and get an honest, menial job, and live in a cheap hotel by the ocean.
No expectations from me, or for me. get myself right. disappear. never want anything again.