Tomorrow night, there will be a picture bomb of all the behind the scenes of my happenings, thanks to the always incredible John Nolan, my friend and really good photographer.
I shot two films recently, "The Encounter" (screening this friday) and "Struck at First Sight". In "The Encounter" I'm led around the city on a treasure hunt to find this guy, got to work with the cutest child actor. In "Struck at First Sight" Keith (who is super talented: http://keitheng.net/ ) directed me in a short film about two guys vying to impress their 'perfect girl' and only one succeeds, in an unusual way. So pics will be coming...
Some good stuff is about to happen but i'll tell you more when it's for sure and done with. Still doing design work, and thanks to Christy I might have some very good news.... ahhhh i want to tell it all now. Just gotta give it a day.
I met my roommate for the next three weeks yesterday, and she's really nice. I've just been doing my best lately, and trying to do my thing while still caring about someone. but it's hard sometimes. You know, trying to do your thing while someone else does there's, and wondering if they think about you at the same time. I just need Booty around and i'll be okay :) she's stretched out on my lap right now and is being very cute.

You know, I got this fantasy.
...                  
Going somewhere, you know,
like, somewhere really...               
clean. 
                 
- Clean?
- Yeah.
                 
No scumbags telling you what to do.
Nobody yelling at you all the time.
                 
Someplace you could just be.
                 
Be yourself.
    
No bad stuff.

That sounds good.

(from the movie Gigli watched it tonight while I was supposed to be reading over the three films scripts coming up.

One year. I'm giving myself one year to learn how to live happily with myself.
Gonna get my life together, schedule so things don't conflict, feel life again every day the way I used too.
I can be too demanding, of myself, my relationships with other people. I'm going to work on all that. August 7th 2011.

Had a nice dinner tonight and realized that things could turn out alright. I already knew really, but I have a lot of hope in the future, while being a realist. With good people showing more kindness to me than I could have ever expected lately, I can only hope to return that in time.
Meeting my new agent Shirley next week to sign the papers! I'm officially signing with the woman who's son played Turk on Scrubs! haha.

Andrea Chen. A girl who doesn't know what she is or who she is. But is learning.

I wrote a rhyme today, regarding everybody:

You can't know what I'm going through
If you did, you wouldn't act the way you do.

an update on my last post.
I need to stop whining about my life and feeling like i'm being continually punched in the stomach. I've always been a fighter, since I did pushups as a baby in my crib. I'm going to do everything I can to make my life great.

an honest vent about working on myself.

I've gone through so much shit in the past couple months, no the last 4 years of my life really. since I came to New York I've had my heart shit on, led on, broken, sewn up, and forgotten. I wouldn't trade it for anything, and I'm grateful that I can be living here and being a grown up and feeling these things... how do you know to be truly happy and appreciate your life unless you've really been hurt and gone through some stuff?
It's hard.. sometimes I think I try to mask my pain through other people, activities, and stuff, to try and make it easier... but I don't want to have to depend on that, put my pain onto other people. I want to be strong and independent, and when I'm ready, be fair and honest with everyone around me, so that no one can say I treated them wrong. I want to be happy and care about people, and not put too much of a burden on them...
It's so shitty being alone sometimes so that all you hear is yourself thinking. But that thinking is me actually processing all the stuff that's been happening to me, so maybe I need to listen.
Pray for me.
I've been screwed out of money by so many people, lost my apartment, my boyfriend, my job- everything. But all I can do is my best right? and then there's just God. And I haven't encountered anything yet that was too hard to handle.

"Don't say you want me
Don't say you need me
Don't say you love me
It's understood
Don't say you're happy
Out there without me
I know you can't be
'Cause it's no good

Gonna to take my time
I have all the time in the world
To make you mine
It is written in the stars above "
-depeche mode "it's no good"

Wig day at ricky's...

"Your playing small does not serve the world. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconciously give other people permission to do the same." -Nelson Mandela's inaugural speech.

"When one door closes another opens. But often we look so long so regretfully at the closed door that we fail to see the one that has opened for us." -Helen Keller (ironic? because she can't see ohhh.. i'm awful)